Bumpy Gene lives for country conundrums. If you have a question or personal experience about moving to or living in the country, please share.


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Who is Bumpy Gene?
The author of that book, as articulated by the world's most perfect eleven-year-old grandson when he first spoke.

Hi, Bumpy Gene, I'm from North Carolina, Greenville, to be exact, and we are overrun with Yankees! It's hard to find anybody with a southern drawl anymore. They have brought all of their big-city problems with them--crime, gangs, traffic gridlock, and a holier-than-thou attitude. I thank God for hot, steamy summers, lots of bugs, snakes, and so forth. I like to see 'em squirm (the Yankees that is!). Even after a major flood here last year they are still moving here by the hundreds every week. Nothing will deter them. It's colonialism--the natives suffer when the population influx begins. We are all in the "service economy" down here. Low-paying jobs to provide services for the rich SUV crowd. Thank God we just moved onto some family land which is in a trust (it can't be sold to make a subdivision for those outsiders). 100 acres and not a Yankee in sight! Yee-hah! Keep up the good work and take care. Sincerely, Sharon H.
You Yankees might want to either steer clear of North Carolina or practice your drawl before you move down to Sharon's neck of the woods. She has friends.

Dear Gene, We're interested in the Ozarks and have seen some real estate listings that sound great. Can you recommend some newspapers and other periodicals along with contact info that would help in getting to know some of the communities and people so that we can narrow the search a little, as "the Ozarks" is a big region--and it surely must have different "regional differences" within it? Mark & Mary, Mountain View, California
Yup, Ozarks land is colder and flatter up north. NW Arkansas is most rugged--the hills and hollers have greater elevational differences. Identify your ideal spots, contact chambers of commerce, then subscribe to newspapers that are listed in the material they send you. Small-town papers are revealing of community character. The fastest way to research today is on the Internet. For instance, http://www.morealestate.net/ will take you to Ozarks real estate agencies and their listings. Most cities and many towns now have their own Web sites. Just do a Search for the town name. The only periodical that focuses on the Ozarks is The Ozarks Mountaineer, but it was heavy on nostalgia material the last time I read it; I don't know it's current editorial balance. It is at http://www.gtweb.com/mountaineer/ Vern and Phyllis Rossiter Modeland have a big Web site with lots of Ozarks material--it is at http://www.runningriver.com/ The Mountaineer Bookstore there has an extensive collection of books about the Ozarks. On-line search is at http://www.runningriver.com/mountaineerbooks/home.html Have fun with your quest. Finding one's ideal place is an exciting journey.

Dear Bumpy Gene: Would you please give us young wannabes some advice-in-a-nutshell about how to prepare for a move to the country? Mark Moore
Mark, here's my advice to those who are well below retirement age. Write a plan, revise that plan once each year, focus on and be true to your dreams, develop two types of skills: those that will help you enjoy homesteading and those that will allow you to make a dependable income in your chosen area. Homesteading skills may evolve into income skills but that takes time; don't depend on it. Operate on a cash basis; every dollar spent on interest for other than education, land loan or home mortgage is money wasted. Become educated about and begin practicing healthfulness immediately. If your personal life is not sound, don't take it to the country. Buy your land as soon as possible--you can make payments with city income most easily and rural prices will only rise as city conditions worsen. Buy quality tools and learn how to use and service them. Don't move to your land until it is paid for and then never borrow against it. Your first building should be a weather-proof shop that will house your tools, vehicles and you. Plant trees as soon as possible. Is that too much for a nutshell?

Hello Bumpy Gene: Please rate our dream as possible reality or hopeless fantasy. My fiancee and I are considering "dropping out." We know the psychological issues of rural life; what is really tough to discern is whether our expectations are just a pipe dream. Are there still opportunities to live completely self-sufficiently without electricity or cars like the Amish, but not in a communal setting? I realize people who sold their souls for money often have the ability to cash out and move to solar-powered rural palaces and telecommute. What about we people who haven't had high paying jobs but have no need to make more than we need to live simply? Our plan is to dig our own well and live in a yurt with wood heat and cooking. We would garden for the bulk of our food and barter or do very temporary work to pay for the things we can't make on our own. Is this too unrealistic with taxes and such? Are you familiar with yurts or tipi living? Do zoning codes allow you to live in a temporary structure indefinitely? Any guidance would be appreciated. Andrea L. Johnson, Tucson, Arizona.
Andrea, yours is a common dream. Many have tried it. Self-sufficiency is seven-days-a-week, long-hour drudgery and highly vulnerable to accidents, medical emergencies, burnout. Crop failures happen. Want to make your own shoes? Eyeglasses? Fill your own cavities? Weave your own cloth? Self-sufficiency requires deep knowledge gained only by experience. Go for maximum self-reliance; become homesteaders. Regarding building codes, all states have codes but all do not provide enforcement funding in rural counties. As you narrow your search, check with county clerks about codes. I know people who have lived without electricity. They all finally tired of dealing with dim-light reading on winter nights and running out of propane for expensive gas refrigerators when the propane truck couldn't get to them because of ice/snow/mud. Without refrigeration you must have serious canning/drying/root cellar stores and a constant supply of perishables like dairy products. Solar electricity is still expensive. The Amish are not self-sufficient. They buy cloth, tools, utensils. (See Lehman's Catalog on my Links page; Lehman's caters to the Amish.) The Amish buy fuel and use engines to do some work. Are you good with horses? Now don't let me dissuade you from having an enriching learning experience. Do extensive planning, find a place with a long growing season, learn necessary skills. Garden with friends. Can and dry foods. Make cheeses and soaps, sew clothes. Apprentice to those with skills you need. May the force be with you.

Hi, Bumpy Gene! My wife and I are currently renting a 1 acre home in the country and are considering buying. My question is, is it possible to practice self-sufficient living on only a single acre? Your thoughts are appreciated. John W., Martinsville, IN
John, the amount of land needed for homesteading depends on how much self-sufficiency you want and how good the soil is. There are other factors that with time will be as important. Your neighborhood will change and small parcels may be precluded by new zoning laws from raising animals, or your neighbors may complain about roosters crowing at four o'clock or the odor of a hog pen. You may wish to buy the one acre and learn homesteading skills while you save money for a larger place. I would advise buying a minimum of twenty acres to insure food production, including pasture and grain for animals, a woodlot for firewood and building materials, privacy and protection from surrounding conditions.

Dear Bumpy: In response to my requests for listings in Kentucky, I have received many of the usual but also a lot of them state that the properties are "broker-owned." What is your recommendation on these? Hugh W., Ann Arbor, MI
Thanks for the question Hugh. Be extra alert and make a thorough investigation when buying direct from an owner, whether that be a real estate agent or non-licensed individual. Owners obviously have a conflict of interest or shall I say lack of interest in you getting a fair deal. You have minimal protection through disclosure laws but some will try to skirt that. For instance, disclosure laws state that the owner must disclose defects known to him. But a sharp dealer might not disclose a well that goes dry in September, figuring he can later say that it never happened before. Don't put yourself in the position of having to prove in court that he knew differently. Cover yourself. Require a survey and walk the marked boundaries before closing. Buy title insurance. Double-check the condition of all improvements and require a professional inspection if you do not feel qualified. Check with the well driller on depth and recharge rate. I have heard that some Kentucky areas have unpotable water. Check with neighbors about water, traffic levels, noise problems, impending development, any other negatives. Look at a lot of properties so you know if the price is right. And then make a low offer and have valid reasons for doing so. Negotiate hard. Agents are accustomed to offers and counter-offers and counter-counter-offers.

Dear Bumpy Gene, my wife and I want to move to a rural area but we don't see how we can make a living. Our skills don't seem to be transferable. Jonathan B., Torrance, CA.
Jonathan, making a living is the biggest bump on the road to a rural home. Think of this as an opportunity. Now is the time to consider what you would most like to do. While still in the city, accumulate the mental and physical tools to do work you love. Go to that wonderful Torrance library and read books like "To Build the Life You Want, Create the Work You Love," by Marsha Sinetar. Telecommuting is growing fast for computer savvy savants. Tourism jobs abound in beautiful locales. Many companies are moving production facilities and headquarters units to rural venues where overhead is low. Identify your perfect place, then write to chambers of commerce and local newspapers. Place an ad stating you would love to join their community but need help finding employment. Most rural communities are very supportive and there are people who really will help you--especially those who want your real estate, banking, insurance and other business.

Gene, We love your book. It must be very gratifying to know that you have helped so many people to improve the quality of their lives. I have a great VP job with a Fortune 500 company but commute six hours each day. I have concluded that my consumptive, stressful, money-centered lifestyle has to change. My wife and I plan to make the move to the country by year's end. We are concerned that our daughters, aged 8 and 12, will be lonely. Any words of wisdom? Michael G., Hartford, CT.
Michael, the degree of rural social isolation is most related to population density. The tension is privacy/seclusion/isolation versus social opportunities. This is a decision that only your family can make. Most juvenile social activity emanates from school. Parents need to make thorough investigation of school conditions once they identify target areas. Moving to a new area is nearly always resisted by children, who are understandably loathe to leave established friendships and fear the unknown. Not unlike we older humans. Most children quickly make new friends and are impressed with rural school conditions and activities. Thank you, yes, I feel very good about helping people.

Hi Gene, Our family of 6 is thinking and praying about a move to a rural area. Recently, we were at my in-laws who live in a semi-rural area, although it has lots of lakes and is therefore a retirement and tourist area. As I read the paper there were reports of drugs, robbery, rape, etc...and I was shocked! How far do you have to go to get away from all this crime? We have four children and homeschool them. We would like to find a safe place to live. Could you recommend certain states or even areas of states? I guess a couple of ways to research the crime factor is reading the paper and contacting the police....any other ideas? Also, I don't know if you ever saw the WILDERNESS FAMILY, but this family actually moved to such a remote area in the mountains that they had to get supplies in by float plane. Are there places like that left in the U.S.? How would you find out about them? What do you see as pros/cons of going that far out? I know I've asked lots of questions...thanks for helping me!! Sincerely, Susan, Gulf Coast of Texas.
Susan, Crime has become the number-one concern of most Americans and a prime motivator of most of my readers. Texas, California and New York are the most dangerous states. All large cities have high crime. The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports four times as much violent crime per capita in urban areas as in rural areas. The least crime is in remote low-population communities where people depend on and look after each other and do not tolerate anyone hurting the community. I offer many suggestions in the book on how to find such places. A real estate purchase is a huge investment and moving to a new area is a big deal, even bigger with your precious cargo of four. I recommend you read the book before proceeding further. Yes, I saw the movie you mentioned. Such remote places still abound in Alaska. Be cautious, such places sound wonderful but the practical considerations are huge--making a living, transporting supplies, getting medical help. Simple problems quickly become emergencies, especially with children. Glad to hear that you are homeschooling. Keep in touch!

Dear Bumpy Gene, My husband and I just found the ideal two acre country lot, complete with an apple orchard and creek. My question for you concerns the financing of the lot. The owner is willing to do the financing himself and is requesting a l0% down payment. We will not have the down payment until this September when my husband receives his yearly bonus. Any ideas on how to proceed with an offer under those conditions? The owner seems interested in selling us the property, but this is a sensitive issue and we don't want to loose this opportunity by handling it in the wrong way. We are considering asking him if he would be willing to sell us the lot under the conditions of giving him a small portion of the down payment now, making regular monthly loan payments, and then giving him the lion's share of the downpayment in September. Actually, the best situation for us would be not to make any downpayment at all until September, but we don't want to appear to be complete deadbeats and scare him away. My husband and I would be grateful to hear your opinion as well as any other creative financing ideas you might want to pass along to us. By the way, thank you so much for creating a practical and entertaining sourcebook for those of us who love the country life and need all the help we can get. It will be treasured by many of us. God Bless You, A Central Illinois Friend.
Friend, You didn't say, so I assume you are attempting to negotiate without an agent. I also must assume that you can't or don't want to borrow the down payment from relatives, friends, credit union, bank, church, or against life insurance. Have a meeting with the seller and state that you want to buy the property and you will have the full down payment in September. Suggest an option to buy, complete with purchase terms acceptable to both. Offer to make payments starting now, forfeitable if you do not deliver the down payment in September. That will cause the seller to know you are serious. The seller may ask for some other consideration, or you may offer one, such as a higher interest rate, to make his wait for the down payment worthwhile to him. All of this must be in writing to be enforceable. I strongly recommend you have a real estate broker or attorney check the contract before signing and giving any money.

Dear Bumpy Gene, my wife and I are looking for rural land using the Web to check for listings. Do you think that listings on the Web are higher priced and not as good deals? Bill L., Melbourne, FL.
Bill, smaller brokerages may have their entire inventory listed, regardless of price. Larger offices and those using co-op pages choose listings that attract attention, regardless of price. Real estate ads mostly reassure sellers and attract new buyers; they rarely sell the advertised property to the caller on that ad. I recommend you send your criteria list to brokers in your chosen area and ask them to notify you of appropriate new listings. I am building a page of links to brokers around the country who handle rural property. Click on Links, then click on the appropriate heading.

Dear Bumpy Gene, I am searching for my rural home and am having some trouble as far as locating listings. I am looking within a 2 hour radius of Pittsburgh, PA. Is there an agency (govt. or private) that you would recommend to assist me on my quest? Thank you for your time, Julie M.
Julie, the Web has caught zillions of real estate listings. Search for Pennsylvania (or Ohio or West Virginia) real estate. Within a two-hour radius of Pittsburgh there are hundreds of real estate offices. Make your quest fun by taking weekend drives and, when you find a town that speaks to you, pick up a copy of the local paper or real estate "magazine," which will be mostly listings. Ask your librarian for a reference book that lists newspapers in your chosen area. Once you narrow your search to a few towns, place personals' ads asking for correspondence from others who have moved there from out of the area. Respondents can become great sources of "inside information" about their places. And of course all the hungrier real estate agents will immediately send you copies of their listings, especially if you include your criteria. Thanks for writing.

Hi, Bumpy Gene, I have 120 acres with option to buy more near Greenwood, SC, in the rolling hills of the Piedmont. I'd like to create a kind of small intentional community/eco village, help fellow homesteaders realize their dreams and at the same time ensure compatible neighbors who share a common dream. I am willing to exchange lower prices for sweat equity. Frank, FranksFarm@aol.com
That's pretty country, Frank. Good luck with your dream. Ecovillages are a wonderful design for living well and living responsibly. Anyone want to join Frank?

Bumpy Gene, Sounds wonderful, where do I sign up for country living? If anyone knows of a church that is without a pastor let us know. My husband has a PhD and Masters degree. We long for a small country church where people are friendly and God's creation is still intact. Dr. Dave and Marilyn Harrison, Verity@Northlink.com
Happy to help get the word out. Need all the points I can get with Upstairs. UPDATE: Dr. Dave, one of my readers is trying to contact you. We need your current e-mail address.

Dear Bumpy Gene, We have our perfect country home; however, the perfect job for my husband is causing us to relocate. Do you have any tips on selling the perfect country home (without tears, preferably.) Thanks, Ann D., somewhere in cyberspace.
Big bummer, Ann! How about finding a caretaker for your present home? Then it will be safe until you can return. See Caretaker Gazette on our Links page. If you must sell, I doubt you will have any difficulty selling a home that is so wonderful. There are many places to advertise homes for sale on the Internet. Tell Kevin I said that a home is more important than a job.

Dear Bumpy Gene, I love your book, just outstanding, couldn't have done better myself. I know you advocate that each reader find their personal ideal place but, did you put in subliminals about the Ozarks? I was so impressed by your obvious love of the Ozarks that my husband and I are now considering Missouri. Any more information you are willing to impart? Jill L., Chicago.
Jill, I tried hard to suppress my personal feelings about this place because, frankly, I don't think most urban refugees would be happy here. Jobs are scarce and low-paying. Ozarks' weather, biting insects and critters are often challenges. Many of us who have come here joke that economic and social conditions are about twenty years behind the times. Taxes are low because services are very minimal, especially outside of towns. Many of our small town and farming communities can fairly be called insular and provincial. Subscribe to various weekly newspapers to get a feel for the communities.

Bumpy: Just a few thoughts. First, nice work. I'll throw my two-bits in on where country living can be good. First, as a native Montanan, few places on earth can claim the splendor of Big Sky Country. My family still lives in the northwest corner not far from Glacier Park. The down side--the winters in Montana will test anyone's resolve. Having moved to the east coast for occupational reasons, I have found a niche. West Virginia. I just purchased 40 acres in the panhandle for a paltry sum. The annual property taxes are tiny, the weather is generally favorable and it is just the right distance from the big cities of Baltimore and Washington. The people in W.V. remind me of the folks I grew up with in Montana. Good, honest people who are darn friendly. So, there's my two cents. Ken D., somewhere in WV.
Thanks, Ken, for sharing your knowledge of two good places, and for only one cent per place.

Dear Bumpy: Where is a safe place to live, when it comes to natural disasters and dangerous critters? Jayme G., River Grove, IL.
Whoa, Jayme, that one sent me scrambling to the research desk. O.K., here's the answer. Such a place does not exist. Within the three small earthquake-free areas of the U.S.A. there are alligators, scorpions, Gila monsters, coral snakes, rattlesnakes and inner-city gangs. The first five act sensibly, for food and protection, and can be avoided. Of the entire country, only part of southwest central Texas is free of both earthquakes and tornadoes. If you go there, the most dangerous critters will be found in saloons.

Dear Bumpy, Is any land still available to homestead? Mark T., Reno, NV.
The Homestead Act of 1862 was unacted some years ago. Alaska has had a limited homesteading plan but it is not available as of this writing. Check it out at http://www.dnr.state.ak.us/pic/faq.htm Lots of rural land is homesteadable but today you have to pay for it. Much land is still reasonable, though, in the $200-to-$800 per acre range.

Dear Bumpy, Where is the best place to live? Anna W., Smyrna, GA.
Your best place is the one that suits your clothes, encourages your lifestyle and makes you smile a lot.

Stop kidding around, Bumpy. Where are the hot spots? Anna.
Who's kidding? Right now the hot spots are certain parts of Colorado and North Carolina. Avoid them. Today's hot spots are tomorrow's sprawl spots. Fast growth means fast problems. You want a cool spot.

Dear Bumpy, Where is the least expensive land? George P., Scranton, PA.
The farther you get from cities the less expensive the land, unless it is very good for farming, mining, recreation, all of which create pollution and/or traffic, which you probably want to avoid.

Dear Bumpy, I found some acreage that is bordered by a national forest. What are the pros and cons? Carole H., Blaine, WA.
If public lands are unused they increase your privacy. But they preclude the opportunity to buy more land in that direction. Before buying any property always check appropriate county, state, national agencies for what is and is not allowed on contiguous public land. Some agencies have use plans you will want to read. Beware of the potential for eminent domain proceedings which could, for instance, give logging or mining companies the right to create and use a road across your land for access to the timber or minerals. In some Western states, mineral extraction is given a high priority. In Texas, state law allows oil companies to enter and drill on your private land if they own the mineral rights.

Dear Bumpy, Is it true that most rural places are full of rednecks? Flowerchild, Indianapolis.
Well, child, that depends on how short we cut our hair. Chris gave me my Spring shearing and then I went out in the sun, so I qualify. Rednecks are often very nice people. Some just have, uh, limitations. Would you like to follow up on this?

Dear Gene, Where are the best places for gay people to avoid harassment? Dave, Canoga Park, CA.
Dave, you are most likely to find tolerant, open-minded citizens in college towns and tourist meccas, plus those small towns that have a high percentage of urban refugees.

Dear Bumpy, Why did you recommend against North Carolina? It seems to me to have everything, a good climate, beautiful scenery, reasonable prices, plenty of jobs. Joseph R., Homestead, FL.
North Carolina is a great state. My point was that too many people are moving there too fast and that will create problems, like rising taxes, greater regulation (loss of freedom), traffic congestion, rising crime. Part of the problem is because large numbers of Florida seniors are moving back north but only as far as North Carolina. Natives call them "half-backs." There is lots of tension between newcomers and natives, who resent what's happening to "their" places.

Dear Mr. GeRue: Tell your readers to stay away from New York. I had to laugh when I read in your book that the real estate tax on a $100,000 house in New Hampshire may run up to $3,600 a year. My property tax here on a two bedroom Cape Cod costs me $5,200 a year and every year it goes up. So if you add the real estate tax along with state income tax plus 8% sales tax, plus state taxes on utility and phone bills you spend most of your money on taxes in N.Y. Don S., Malverne, N.Y.
Thanks for the warning, Don. Most states that include big cities have high taxes. Rural property owners subsidize the high cost of running those values-poor but voter-rich cities.

Dear Gene, I have noticed that I frequently suggest things to folks we know moving out and buying land now based upon the obvious things you have brought to our attention. Unfortunately they aren't listening and think they know best, and I think in the long run they will be disappointed in their purchases (they are only looking at good farm land and aren't considering the mind frame of their neighbors and how they will take to long-haired types with a very specific agenda, etc.). Marcee M., Bloomington, IL.
Marcee, you're right. The single biggest mistake people make when buying rural property is moving into a community of people where they just won't fit. Carefully check out the people before you buy the land. Subscribe to the local paper. Visit and talk to everyone you see. Attitudes and values will become apparent. Never expect that you will be able to change the local mindset.

Dear Gene, I purchased your book last year. I would like to thank you for this which helps inspire me to keep looking after a year of unsuccessful homestead hunting. Anyway, I am in need of more inspiration, and am looking for a means of contacting JD Belanger regarding his "Countryside" magazine. Bob B., Harrisonburg, VA.
Keep looking, Bob. It's worth taking plenty of time and not buying until you know you have found your ideal place. Countryside & Small Stock Journal is one of my favorite magazines. The address is N2601 Winter Sports Rd., Withee, WI 54498 or call 800-551-5691.

Dear Gene and Chris, My husband and I are in the process of researching for a completely self-sufficient shelter for our land. Please let us know if you have ideas of who or what books can help us in our quest. Margaret P., Cortlandt Manor, NY.
Pick up some rural-oriented magazines at your bookstore or library. In them you will find many advertisements for firms that specialize in solar heating, photovoltaic generation, wind generation, new heating systems, new building technologies, ram pumps, energy-efficient windows, greenhouses, etc. Shop thoroughly. Some of these companies spend a lot of money on advertising and catalogs and their equipment prices are too high.

Dear Gene, Your book has really proved a benefit to us as a reference tool. The charts relating to rainfall, seismic activity, etc. helped. As food for thought for later editions perhaps you might consider a "local varmint and critter" chart. Let's face it, with children who have grown up in a small Minnesota town a little reorientation is in place. Barbara W., Cokato, MN.
Thanks for the suggestion. Varmints and critters probably won't deter people who otherwise fall in love with a place. To become aware of critters/varmints/insects to avoid and how to deal with them, visit or call the local Extension Office, usually found in the county seat. The staff will have information on what wants to bite your skin and eat your garden veggies.

Dear Bumpy, Enjoyed hearing you on the radio. Could not find Zanoni on my map. Where is it? Mike H., Carlsbad, CA.
Get serious, Mike, we have made heavy political contributions to make sure Zanoni never appears on maps.

Dear Gene, Your quotes of Frank Lloyd Wright are very apropos and welcome, but he made another famous statement that would have been even more appropriate: "Find your ideal country location, and then go ten miles further on out." (Or words to that effect.) Ervin & Diana C., San Marcos, CA.
I like the message but Frank is showing his age here. Today, I would recommend going fifty miles further out.

Dear Gene & Chris, After reading your book, I feel like we are close neighbors . . . Lately, some farms next to Grandma & Grandpa's [near Savannah, IL] were sold to city people who brought in Polo ponies, English riding suits, and Beemers. The farms sold for twice their worth. The city people who live 80 miles away thought they were a bargain! Now you have to pull your car over to the side of the gravel road so you don't hit the snobby horse riders who refuse to not ride in the center of the road! David, Sheila, and Patrick K. (& Bernie the Beagle dog too), Winnebago, IL.
This is becoming a common story in areas within a couple hours of large cities. The only way to avoid such conditions is to buy land so far from the cities that it is unusable for commuters or weekenders. Give Bernie an ear rub for me.

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